They are accepting applications for their Human of Influence program. I couldn't help but think that this is the PERFECT program for me. I exactly meet one of the two requirements (being human). That's half credit right there.
After pumping myself up in the mirror and repeating my self-worth mantra, I'd like to make my case for the influence part. Please read my submission below. Comments are welcome, though if they are mean I'll probably cry. This means a lot to me. *Sniffle* Ok, here we go...
I'm writing in regards to the Human of Influence program. I feel I am a human capable of influence, both of events and of other humans, and that my influence would be an invaluable contribution to the MooseJaw team.
In my career as a teacher I've taken hundreds of lawless middle schoolers and influenced them to both stop fidgeting in their seats, and to turn in homework. If you have any experience with middle schoolers you will know this is practically magic. This is an example of my powers of mental/psychological influence. In a school setting it's most similar to psychological warfare.
I have a highly successful blog with nearly four readers per week. I anticipate even higher numbers in the coming years and am considering moving to a more capable server. This is an example of first person impersonal influence.
In an effort to influence even more influenceable children, I won the Climb With Us Champion contest, and have pledged the $10,000 (pre-taxes) prize to Summit for Someone and Big City Mountaineers. BCM will take those kids out on 7 day adventures, positively influencing them in my stead. This is an example of third person influence, and shows what a big heart I have.
I've applied with Summit for Someone to climb Gannett Peak in 2011. If you choose to name a jacket (or other item) after me, I will wear said jacket (or other item) on the summit, bringing with me both a giant paper heart and a MooseJaw flag. I will have myself photographed, influencing others to purchase said item through the stunning awesomeness of my surroundings. As a side affect, I may also influence other short girls to take on big mountains, meaning they will need gear from MooseJaw. That is an example of unintended influence.
To demonstrate how easily I can be influenced, if chosen as a HOI I will give $50 of my OWN money to this guy. I don't know who he is, but he doesn't have any donations yet and I feel bad for him.
And finally, as a demonstration of the strength of my immediate sphere of influence, the picture below is of my little brother in a dress, taken earlier tonight. All it took was one phone call. Please don't be intimidated. I use this power with discretion.