You hear that word over and over in climbing. “Yo bra! You just gotta commit to that move!” or “That 14 pitch 5.11 trad climb in Canada is super committing.” If you climb, you know that feeling, that moment - when you HAVE to commit. If you don’t, you fail.

Learning to commit is a valuable lesson. In climbing, it’s knowing when to give yourself in trust that the process will lead to a favorable outcome. It’s also knowing when the commitment is just too great for you at that moment, and choosing to back off. Like so many of the lessons learned on the rock, commitment easily applies to real life. I’ve been super hesitant about obligating myself to a few of the projects I’ve had on my back burner. These are things I really want to do, and I want to do them well. Grad school, for example, waited for three years while I explored and decided what direction in life I wanted to go. In 2012, I’ve taken yet another step off the edge. My super secret project is no longer so super secret.     :)

With the help of an awesome friend, I FINALLY launched GearWhor.es. I’ve been working on it since last May. I spent the whole summer collecting and unifying climbing gear data across multiple brands. The idea is to be able to find pieces of gear that share similar characteristics, and choose from among them. Why? Not sure. I thought it was a good idea. I love gear. I’m a little nerdy. Why not?

Cause committing to maintaining a gear research and review website is freaking scary. I’ve invested so much of my own time, and the time of others, that if I launch and do badly I’d be doing everyone involved a big disservice. I know nothing about marketing or web development. I only have the resources of my tiny blog and the friends I’ve made to start from. The chances that my baby will succeed seem small.

But that’s not the point. The point is that there is a chance. The point is that I have LOVED every moment of getting the site up and running, and I LOVE all the possibilities that it opens up. What if I’m actually able to collect GOOD (meaning complete and well written) reviews on EVERY item. Visiting GearWhor.es would be like asking a friend which new thing to buy - personal and trusty. If I never step off the edge and slap at the hold, failure is certain. But committing, trying, leaning into the process, trusting your abilities - I just might make something I thought was far out of my reach.

So yeah :) Go visit. Or write me a review. Or link (I’ll link back!). I’m in it for the long haul. 

Committed.

I love road trips...

I've written about long road trips before. This past year I've taken five 14 hour or more road trips. There is something about hitting the road, especially alone, that clears my head and makes room for all kinds of possibility. 

I am blessed to have to drive down to Prescott, AZ twice a semester for grad school colloquium. The trip is usually great, but this last one was particularly amazing...

My route takes me down I-25 through Colorado, New Mexico, the Painted Desert, and some spectacular scenery in Arizona. There is something about the red dirt, expansive sky and crumbly cliffs that makes me feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. Parts of I-40 through New Mexico have zero cell coverage for miles, with only Navajo radio stations and casinos for entertainment. 
I sang in the car the whole way down, barely noticing the 14 hours of the trip fly by. I intentionally came down a day early so I could climb with a classmate before getting down to the business of school. I rolled into Prescott around 8pm and immediately went to meet my friend at The Raven, a local pub with live music and 10ft worth of beer taps. 

The next morning we headed out to climb. To say I was surprised by our destination would be an understatement. We drove for about 30 minutes through the flattest farm land I'd seen since Kansas. We parked and walked along a train track till I spotted what looked like a bridge. As we came closer, the situation took shape: There in the middle of the flatlands was a 50ft river gorge lined with beautiful basalt columns and cracks. 

Sullivan's Canyon was sunny, warm (tank tops in January!) and filled with a variety of routes. We spent a perfect day laying back on basalt, struggling up off-widths, naming one route "The Leg Spreader" (5.10a), and enjoying the breeze coming in off the dam by the bridge. 

On such a perfect day, I still found myself sketched out by this persistent fear of heights I fight. To top it off, I began to doubt myself and my ability to quickly build secure anchors for our climbing projects. The self doubt nearly ruined my day, but I pushed through it and had a good time anyway.


For me, these kinds of trips seem etched into my brain. I'll remember them, possibly forever. It was on this same trip I learned (thank you counseling psychology) that kind of memory is called "explicit" memory. Explicit memories are formed when your attention and emotions are focused on an idea, event, etc. When you recall an explicit memory, you have the internal sensation that you are remembering something. There is another kind of memory - implicit memory - that influences our lives just as much. Implicit memories begin forming when you are a baby. These are the memories that are not associated with that feeling of recall, are made without intentional attention, and hide in the background of our brains. They affect our behavior on the subconscious level, often to the point that their affects are just assimilated into who we believe we are. 

Beliefs. What an interesting word...

The implicit memories made throughout our lives are silent principles we agree with, that we believe, and that influence our behavior. When I look at the parts of me that I don't like, my fears and insecurities, the things that make me sad or keep getting me into trouble - their source could be a set of implicit memories, hardwired into my brain years ago. 

Wait...
You mean, I'm not stuck feeling/behaving/doing these things forever? 

Nope. 

What power such a small shift in perspective has. The things that hold me back aren't ME- they are just parts of me, changeable, like everything else in this life. 

So what do you believe to true about you? Do you believe you are capable, or incapable? Destined for greatness, or failure? Doomed to the life you have now, or fully in control of how you move in this world? 

Memories shape who we are, without a doubt, but they don't have to determine who we become. So be free, be happy, be loved and be bold!

I thought this is an appropriate title for this post, since last year was "Hello 2011." I've said good bye to many things this year - comfort, security, people and my idea of "normal." Good Bye seems fitting. 

This post is a bit more serious than the last yearly reflection. It might just be the place I'm in at the moment, but I hope that my look inward helps you do the same in a way that goes beyond trite resolutions and into the kind of person you want to become. 

My goal for 2011 was to learn balance. Instead I ended up throwing myself farther over the edge of what I thought was possible, pushed my limits and learned more about myself in one year than I have in the last 5. Lets see what this year taught me. 

  This year I learned that fear is a big part of my life. Too big in fact. I'm afraid of many many things, from being alone to not using my life to its fullest. I've said a lot about being bold, about embracing life and making big changes and creating the life you want, but I haven't said much about changing myself. I've been afraid of letting go of the ways I've learned to function in this world. The things I do that keep me sane and safe emotionally, that hold my world view together, the unspoken and unconscious beliefs about myself and others - they aren't serving me well any more. They make me sad when I don't need to be, shy when I don't want to be, blind to others and self obsessed. I'm afraid of letting go though, because even though they cause me pain, there is safety and comfort in those old patterns.  

I almost feel like my pride in changing my life this year is undeserved, since I've yet to conquer this bigger and darker foe. Maybe the changes I made in my life this year were just to bring me to the place where I can finally face it head on. 2012 will be about more than epic adventures, risk and hope, it will be about facing the parts of myself that are holding me back, learning to let go of certainty and find what I need within myself. You'll see my resolutions reflect that - more thoughts on the kind of person I want to become, and less on what I want to do. 

Though what would a list of mine be without a few epic adventures included? 

:)

Like I always do, here is my list from last year and notes on what actually happened:

1. Sew a dress. Wtf? Why did I write this? And no I didn't sew a dress. 
   
2. Climb a mountain. Yes!! 3 in fact - two CO 14ers and the Grand Teton in Wyoming!
   
3. Visit another country. No! So many years of NOT doing this :( 
   
4. Write another book. YES! The second children's book should appear some time in 2012.
   
5. Run a total of 365 miles in 2011. Nope. Not even close. I did hike like a maniac this summer, so fitness-wise I think it's even. 
   
6. Break the 5.11 barrier. I should have specified indoor or outdoor - though since moving to CO where the rating system is less badass than on the east coast, I have been crushing 11's.
7. Play the ukulele alllll year. Not just quit if I'm frustrated or discouraged. Um... (Sorry Pat)
8. Take some kind of guiding course. No, but I'm all set to do it this spring :-D
   
9. Find another way to give, now that my $10k is gone. Nope :( Still sponsor Jocelyn in Peru, but I would like to find a place to volunteer in Boulder. 
   
10. Take time for self care each day. Did a pretty good job, with the exception of some hard times this fall. 
    
11. Learn how to practice yoga. Yep! I'm a regular in Brian's class now, with plans to incorporate yoga into other more scholarly pursuits. 
    
12. Buy a par of sexy shoes. I'm going to buy boots today! Thanks Amazon gift card!
    
13. Learn how to use a pro video editing software. Fail. I had to give my Mac back when I quit my NASA job. 
14. Start The Seven Day Adventure (Oh wouldn't you like to know??) No, but that still exists, and I have an even better almost done project that will come out in January. 
15. Go to an OR show. No, but 2012 looks promising. 
16. Fix things I have broken. Not really :-/ 
17. Eat healthier. Yes! Thank you Colorado!
18. Volunteer with Honor Flight. Nope, I moved before I could do this. 

Again, this year in reality was much more exciting than the list I made lead me to believe it would be. Here are a few highlights:

1. I finally went to Hawaii :)
2. I started grad school in a field I 
     can't wait to be part of. 
3. I moved to COLORADO!
4. I own my own trad rack.
5. I work at a climbing gym in     
     Boulder (How the heck did that happen? Thank you Kate!)
6. I saw another shuttle launch.
7. I finished my second book.
8. I went on 3 ULTRA-road trips. (45 hours or more.)
9. I'm well on my way to being in control of my own finances (working for myself).

So here we go...

In 2012, I, Aleya Littleton, do hearby resolve:

1. To default to happiness. Sadness gives me comfort in a weird way. It's me taking care of myself. Instead, I'll change my belief about myself and give myself the gift of happy endorphins more often. 

2. To quit being a chicken about being alone with me. I'll do this by developing a regular meditation practice (already have started) and doing more solo hiking (like I did this summer.)

3. To not lie. At all. Even if it means I lose something because of it. I deserve to be able to be my real self around other people, and I demand excellence from myself in my words and actions. I will cultivate integrity and accept responsibility for my actions, good and bad. 

4. To truly value others in my words and actions, not because I want people to like me and I want things from them, but because that is what every person deserves. Each life is precious and worthy of love.

And to add more epic-ness...

5. Go to the J-Tree Tweetup!
6. Climb in Utah and Wyoming!
7. Plan a winter ascent 
8. Love on my doggie more.
9. Launch the super secret project.
10. Climb a 5.12 outside
11. Call home more often.
12. Increase my monthly income by 50%.
13. Take and pass the SPI course.
14. Take another epic ultra-road trip.
15. Find a place to volunteer.

Impossible? Maybe. But with my track record, you never know :)

Happy New Year everyone,
xoxo - Aleya

I haven't posted anything in over a month. In the two years Rock and Sky has been live, I have never gone that long without posting. As I was explaining to a friend today, when I write, it's like I'm giving out a piece of myself. There is no such thing as "just a post" for me, not really. Each thing I write takes effort, has emotion and inspiration. When I write, it's my gift. But what happens when you just don't have anything to give any more?

This fall has been hard for me, both personally and professionally. I'm busy recreating myself in a new town and in a new life, and at some point, I just ran out of things to give. I can't write when I can't be authentic, and my authentic self is pretty empty at the moment. As I write this though, it's starting to fill back up. The one thing that has kept me from being completely empty this semester has been gratitude.

Gratitude is more than an emotion, it's a state of mind. It's a way of looking at the world. Hardship and sadness can cloud your view and drain your energy, but you have the ability to shift your own world back in to focus. Choose gratitude.

My life, at this moment, is filled with amazing people. I've met friends who've offered support and love I though I'd never experience. People, many across the country, constantly offer help, sweet words, late night listening ears and comfort. Just thinking about how these people, with their own lives, take time for me - I can't express enough how grateful I am for them. 

Not only people, but I've found place and opportunity as well. I love Boulder. It's constantly sunny, and I can bike wherever I need to go. I have several great jobs where I'm using my talents, and one where I can zone out like a zombie. My dog is happy here. She is still with me and healthy. I can climb whenever I want to. The coffee and beer here are great too...

Feel loss and sorrow, that's ok, but don't let them empty you to where you have nothing left to offer. Spend some time meditating on what you have to be grateful for in your life. That will spill into your day, and you will begin being more gracious to others. 

The best part about gratitude is that you can cultivate it in your own life. It comes from inside of you, and you can create more. Choose to be grateful, then take action to create more reasons to be grateful. Treat your friends better. Volunteer with those who have less than you do. Get a new pet. Find a new local treasure. Read an amazing book. Take time for your family. New reasons to be grateful will appear, and give you strength through the hard times. 

I am so very grateful for you,
Aleya

If you know me personally, you know that I am loyal to a fault and constantly hand out the benefit of the doubt. I'm more like a 10 strikes and you're out person, rather than three. That's why I'm a bit hesitant to write this post. The intent isn't to bash anyone, but to post an experience that I hope will be a lesson learned for some people. 

So here it is: How my 15 minutes of fame came and went without me knowing. 

Last fall I applied to the Moosejaw Human of Influence program in what I thought was a stunning and witty manner. In fact, if you Google the above program title, my tweet/post is the first to come up. I was super excited. It's been a tiny dream of mine to have a hand in product development. I love gear, learning about gear, touching gear, dreaming about the ideal piece that would make life amazing. (Don't judge me.) I've even looked into what it would take to get a good short person backpack on the market. Imagine my thrill when in January they officially accepted me and I learned I'd get to see my tiny dream through  to realization.

I sent an email in December (prior to the official acceptance) and then again in April asking if there was anything I could do to activate my participation in the program. I didn't hear anything back.

Life picked up full speed for me, and while I remembered the program, it fell to the background when I quit my job and moved to Colorado.

Then a two weeks ago a friend sent me this picture.

Two thoughts came to mind. The first was "WOW! This is so freaking cool!" And the other was "Um, what happened? I was supposed to be a part of this." (More sad faces.)

The purpose of the program was to involve the Moosejaw community and build brand advocates. Instead of making me more loyal, it made me feel left out and confused. I was really looking forward to this opportunity, and I found out from someone else that it happened without me, and that my name and endorsement were on a product I'd never even seen before. 

I sent another email which bounced back to me, got new contact info from Twitter (@moosejawmadness), and finally got in touch with their Creative Director. 

He called me, which was awesome, and explained that there had been a change in staff and that my email had been left off the list when the program went into full swing this past spring. I had simply been forgotten. The fact that he called, explained, and apologized made me feel understood and valued. We talked about removing my name  since I wasn't actually involved in developing it, and he said he'd send me one for my troubles if I gave him my mailing address.

I sent him just that, along with an idea that would save him the trouble of removing my name and give me the opportunity to check out the jacket and still be part of the program. 

No reply, that was 10 days ago. 

I've been through my share of staff changeovers and I understand managing huge lists of people and the stress of starting new programs, so I'm not without compassion for their situation. But on the consumer end, I feel pretty small at the moment. They tried to do the right thing, but in the end I was just forgotten about. 

I did a search today and found the jacket had been renamed (see my name is still in the web address). Makes me wonder if Chelsea Robbins knows she has a jacket named after her now, or not. 

So the lesson learned is this: Follow through. Double check. Listen, and then keep following through. In an industry where the term "influencer" is becoming more and more important, it's essential to take care of your advocates and not leave anyone behind. 

That. Was. Incredible!!

And also the first official climbing competition I've been to.  As a volunteer and spectator, I got to see all of the work and effort leading up to the showy and brightly colored finals round. Climbers and crew alike worked to create tonight's final event, and it was awesome. 

Tonight 8 men and 8 women from 5 different countries competed in the first IFSC World Cup competition on US soil in 20 years. The comparison between the two events must be vast, with countless advances in the sport happening since 1991. Many of the competitors weren't even born yet. 

Two final routes were put up at Movement gym, where each of the athletes would have one chance to get as far as they could before falling. Scoring is based on the last hold the climber touched, and how in control they were while touching it. More value is assigned to being on a hold and about to execute a move, than reaching out and barely touching it. 

The men's final route proved to be more exciting, with a sequence that most climbers solved with a backwards rotation or nearly upside-down flip. Matty Hong, first on the route, showed his skill with a nail-biting, jaw dropping 180 campus move. The French athletes also seemed to favor a dyno to a large horn, starting with Manuel Romain who lept to the under cling. Sachi Amma made good use of heel hooks while climbing to a definitive 2nd place, falling on move 34. 

First place went to Jakob Schubert (Video here). This is his 6th World Cup victory in a row. Surprisingly, several men expected to give Jakob a run for his money fell early in the route. Sean McColl was one, not making the leap/campus/dyno move the French athletes did so well. 

On the ladies side, the route was less exciting but still exceptionally difficult, with most athletes coming off at the same move from under the roof up to a small crimp on the arete. 

Sasha Digiulian, the only female US athlete to make it to finals, fell on said move and took 7th place over all. 

Johanna Ernst, who had been climbing strong all weekend, managed to make it over the edge and fell 4 holds from the finish. On the way up she took a rest using an impressive Egyptian (Video here)  Johanna took 1st for the women, and Mina Markovic took second. 

Final Results

Men
1. Jakob Schubert
2. Sachi Amma
3. Romain Desgranges
4. Manuel Romain
5. Jorg Verhoeven
6. Matty Hong
7. Sean McColl
8. Ramon Puigbianaque

Women
1. Johanna Ernst
2. Mina Markovic
3. Momoka Oda
4. Maja Vedmar
5. Angela Eiter
6. Akiyo Noguchi
7. Sasha Digiulian
8. Charlotte Durif

It was an amazing event, with much effort going into making it happen by the athletes, organizers and volunteers. A big thank you goes to Movement Gym, The American Alpine Club, North Face and Evolv Shoes for sponsoring the event. 

Catch up on the Semi-Finals and the Quals.

It's been a busy day at Movement. The weather is great, and the crowd is growing. The finals lists were just posted outside the gym. Here is who will be competing tonight:

Men:
1. Sachi Amma
2. Ramon Puigbianaque
3. Sean McColl
4. Jakob Schubert
5. Jork Verhoeven
6. Romain Desgranges
7. Manuell Romain
8. Matty Hong

Women:
1. Johanna Ernst
1. Mina Markovic
3. Momoka Oda
4. Charlotte Durif
4. Maja Vidmar 
6. Angela Eiter
7. Sasha Digiulian
8. Akiyo Noguchi 
 
And a quick look at the rules: http://ow.ly/6S0wg 

Qualifiers are done! 

The unusually grey and rainy day here in Boulder did nothing to curb the action indoors. It did, however, make sitting outside in a tent suck. 

Here are the results.

The qualifying round consisted of two routes to narrow down the 67 athletes to 26 men and 26 women to compete in the semi-finals tomorrow. On the main wall, the women's first climb is on the left, followed by the two men's routes, and finally the second women's route. 

The comp was done flash-style, where competitors are allowed to watch fellow climbers, and remain on the floor for the duration. Tomorrow's semi and final rounds will be done with climbers in isolation. 

My first peek inside was just in time to see Austria's Kathi Posch dominate the first women's route. Taking an extended rest on on overhung crimper, she made the climb look effortless. Minutes later Angela Eiter popped off the same climb, only a few moves from the top. 

The men's routes seemed to be much more difficult. Out of the 34 male athletes, only one flashed both routes. Sachi Amma of Japan flashed both problems, while Jakob Schubert, currently ranked number 1, fell near the top of the second men's route. 

The comp also saw the first (maybe ever?) father-son pair of competators. Matty Hong climbed against his father, Steve Hong. Matty ranked 11th at the end of the day, while his father didn't make the cut. 

Tomorrow's events should be amazing. Even on day one, with rain, the crowd was loud and engaged. Movement says they can accommodate 1,000 spectators, so if you are coming - get there early!

THIS weekend the World Cup Lead Climbing Competition comes to Boulder, the first Lead comp in the us since 1991. I scored the sweet gig of volunteering for the American Alpine Club in their sponsor tent, so I'll be up close and personal with all the action. I'll be posting pictures and video of the events this weekend, but in the mean time, here is a little info about the competition. 

What? World Cup Competition for Lead Sport Climbing
Where? Movement Climbing Gym, Boulder CO
When? October 8-9, 2011
Schedule:
• 7 p.m. Friday: Opening ceremonies parade down Pearl Street (from 15th to 9th) followed by the IFSC World Cup Opening Ceremonies presented by The American Alpine Club
• 10 a.m. Saturday: Warm-up round/Qualifiers; 11:30 a.m. Saturday, Qualifiers
• 12 p.m. Sunday: Semi-Finals
• 7 p.m. Sunday: Finals with Award Ceremony to follow

This weekend 67 athletes from 17 countries will come to compete in Boulder's Movement climbing gym. A complete list of registrants can be found on the IFSC site here. Notably among the competators is Angela Eiter, who won the World Cup in Arco after completing a move where the majority of women fell with an unexpected heel hook. The incredible video can be found here, with falls starting at 4:40. Also competing are Alex Johnson, Emily Harrington and Sasha Diguilian - a personal favorite of mine. Super tiny and super powerful, I saw her climb at the 2010 EMS UBC and was impressed by her ability to scrunch up on a small hold and explode to another twice her height away. She placed first in Arco for combined bouldering and lead results. 

On the men's side is Jakob Schubert, currently ranked number 1 by the IFSC with five World Cup victories in a row. Matty Hong, a Boulder native, who just sent his first V14 in Hueco Tanks, TX, will be climbing along with Ramon Puigblanque, ranked number 2.

This should be an amazing weekend. Info and tickets can be purchased at the main WC Boulder website. 

A little background 

The International Federation of Sport Climbing was founded in 2007 to provide and international, unbiased body to govern climbing competitions, which have been held in one form or another since the 40's. Every year the IFSC holds competitions around the world in the categories of Lead, Bouldering and Speed climbing. Athletes are ranked by judges using a scoring system based on performance. For more information, visit the IFSC website.